Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Yes Dear, I'm amazed at my technical ability.
My husband looks like Dennis the Menance's Dad and he often sounds like him. I figured out how to post pictures. I was very delighted with myself (wooo hoooo!!!) when my husband said in a dry tone, "I take it you're amazed at your technical ability?" I chose three of my favorite pics off my IPhone. I'll try to do that more often.
I went to the gym did an hour on the elliptical. Didn't push myself. My legs hurt from the day before. My goal is still 7 days a week. Don't ever think I over do it. 7 days a week is a goal, not a reality.
And I finally saw light at the end of the tunnel when it comes to our budget. Or, as I have started calling it, "Stay at home to exercise and be a Granny budget." The breakthrough came when I starting learning about life insurance. Over the years we have purchased several policies. It is probably common for people to purchase these without really knowing the details of the policies. Turns out I can use the cash value to pay off debt and stay home for a little while longer. Hopefully till grand baby gets in school and I lose 40 more pounds.
I need to head out to rehearsal.
Sincerely,
I'm Not Oprah
I went to the gym did an hour on the elliptical. Didn't push myself. My legs hurt from the day before. My goal is still 7 days a week. Don't ever think I over do it. 7 days a week is a goal, not a reality.
And I finally saw light at the end of the tunnel when it comes to our budget. Or, as I have started calling it, "Stay at home to exercise and be a Granny budget." The breakthrough came when I starting learning about life insurance. Over the years we have purchased several policies. It is probably common for people to purchase these without really knowing the details of the policies. Turns out I can use the cash value to pay off debt and stay home for a little while longer. Hopefully till grand baby gets in school and I lose 40 more pounds.
I need to head out to rehearsal.
Sincerely,
I'm Not Oprah
Copper King Hibiscus
This is my favorite hibiscus. They come up every year and take very little maintenance. Wizard of Oz Summer '10
The Carnegie Players. It is truly amazing what a good community theater can do. This show was the start of my weight loss. I felt so fat and so old under the heavy costume and make-up. My knees hurt as I climbed up the stairs to the castle and through the window. The witch is suppose to appear in a flash. I wasn't flashing anyone except my good friend Jennifer who was kind enough to help me up the step ladder. (Jennifer is in front in the solid green dress.) She was also responsible for the speed in which I melted. I had to squat. When you are 5'4" and over 200 pounds, squatting is not in the cards. And the bicycle scared me to death. The kids cast as munchkins couldn't believe a grown woman was afraid of a bicycle. Going head first off the proscenium was a real possibility. I sweated off five pounds and started swimming shortly after the show closed. Rainbow in Taos
This picture was taken just outside Taos (summer '10). We were staying with some very dear friends at their family home. It was a double rainbow. Remarkable to see. It appeared to be LED lights someone was shooting up toward the sky. This is very close to where the Pueblo Indian Tribe has lived for centuries. I kept wondering what the Indians thought 250 years ago when they witnessed something as amazing as this. But, then again, Indians never had any problem appreciating nature. Monday, October 18, 2010
Jams - brightly colored long shorts worn in the 80's
When I feel like a total idiot I lose my appetite. I've had yogurt and fresh figs(off of my trees.) That's it and I'm not hungry. A call from my daughter this afternoon pretty much destroyed my thoughts of dinner. She said, "Mom, there is something missing in the invitations." My heart sank cause I'm the one that stuffed them, sealed them, and mailed them. How could I forget the map? No, the RSVP card? No, the.......time of the wedding. Oh good grief. Apparently people who don't have the good taste to RSVP will simply not know what time the wedding starts. I just hope this feeling of being really stupid passes by tomorrow morning.
I did not weigh this morning. It was my first day doing part-time tutoring. I was occupied with teacher thoughts. I did pack my bag for the gym. I did go work out at lunch. Hour on the elliptical, little swimming for the stretching. Worked up a good sweat. It was wonderful to see my friend at the gym. I'm so proud of her. It takes such commitment. But, the time you start exercising is a very personal choice. My timing was perfect when I got fed up with being angry about things I could not control.
I dawned on me the only thing I can really control was my hand as it put things in my mouth.
Now to what my daughter calls my interesting life. I'll try to recall events in my life based on the person. Since I started with my Dad, I'll continue with him. My Dad would say to my Mom often, "I'm worth more dead than alive." He wasn't being sarcastic or spiteful, just truthful. After serving in WWII, he did not seem to fear much of anything. In what most people would call a dangerous situation, my father usually just got angry. Very angry. He was only 5'9" or so. Not fat, not thin. Just average but on the short side I suppose. His anger was the quiet kind. The kind you witness mostly in the jaw muscles of a man's face. He didn't raise his voice and spoke through clenched teeth when he was very upset. Around 11 pm one night at the motel he had just checked in a customer. It was the normal practice at the motel to lock the front doors when the restaurant closed. As the customer left the desk, Dad stayed put to finish up paperwork. (I would always show the customer to the door and lock it behind them.) He looked up just as a young man in jams was entering the lobby. Dad told me later he noticed no car. In our family we always talk about red flags. No car when pulling up to a motel is one red flag. The young man said he needed a room. My father said I'll need to see your driver's license. The man replied, "How about taking a look at this," as he brought the gun up and pointed it directly at my father. I guess you could say no more red flags were needed in this scenario. The conversation stopped abruptly as my father took an instinctive step backwards and flipped over a trash can. The flip hurt my father so bad he screamed in pain and assumed he had been shot in the back. The flip shocked the robber so bad he fled after jumping over the counter and trying unsuccessfully to get into the cash register. All the while my father was crawling on his hands and knees, screaming "I've been shot! I've been shot! " so my mother in the apartment will hear him. She ran out, assured him there is no blood anywhere. He grabbed his gun that always rested by the register and he ran out to the parking lot shooting bullets into the air, cussing and screaming at the robbers. His reasoning, he informed us later, is that he wanted the robbers to know he had a gun and that he knew how to shoot it. My Dad wore a back brace for months after this. I love this story and I can picture both my parents. My Dad survived just by sheer luck. And my Mom didn't falter or stop to think what might be waiting in the lobby. She just ran head first to try to help him.
Sincerely,
I'm Not Oprah
I did not weigh this morning. It was my first day doing part-time tutoring. I was occupied with teacher thoughts. I did pack my bag for the gym. I did go work out at lunch. Hour on the elliptical, little swimming for the stretching. Worked up a good sweat. It was wonderful to see my friend at the gym. I'm so proud of her. It takes such commitment. But, the time you start exercising is a very personal choice. My timing was perfect when I got fed up with being angry about things I could not control.
I dawned on me the only thing I can really control was my hand as it put things in my mouth.
Now to what my daughter calls my interesting life. I'll try to recall events in my life based on the person. Since I started with my Dad, I'll continue with him. My Dad would say to my Mom often, "I'm worth more dead than alive." He wasn't being sarcastic or spiteful, just truthful. After serving in WWII, he did not seem to fear much of anything. In what most people would call a dangerous situation, my father usually just got angry. Very angry. He was only 5'9" or so. Not fat, not thin. Just average but on the short side I suppose. His anger was the quiet kind. The kind you witness mostly in the jaw muscles of a man's face. He didn't raise his voice and spoke through clenched teeth when he was very upset. Around 11 pm one night at the motel he had just checked in a customer. It was the normal practice at the motel to lock the front doors when the restaurant closed. As the customer left the desk, Dad stayed put to finish up paperwork. (I would always show the customer to the door and lock it behind them.) He looked up just as a young man in jams was entering the lobby. Dad told me later he noticed no car. In our family we always talk about red flags. No car when pulling up to a motel is one red flag. The young man said he needed a room. My father said I'll need to see your driver's license. The man replied, "How about taking a look at this," as he brought the gun up and pointed it directly at my father. I guess you could say no more red flags were needed in this scenario. The conversation stopped abruptly as my father took an instinctive step backwards and flipped over a trash can. The flip hurt my father so bad he screamed in pain and assumed he had been shot in the back. The flip shocked the robber so bad he fled after jumping over the counter and trying unsuccessfully to get into the cash register. All the while my father was crawling on his hands and knees, screaming "I've been shot! I've been shot! " so my mother in the apartment will hear him. She ran out, assured him there is no blood anywhere. He grabbed his gun that always rested by the register and he ran out to the parking lot shooting bullets into the air, cussing and screaming at the robbers. His reasoning, he informed us later, is that he wanted the robbers to know he had a gun and that he knew how to shoot it. My Dad wore a back brace for months after this. I love this story and I can picture both my parents. My Dad survived just by sheer luck. And my Mom didn't falter or stop to think what might be waiting in the lobby. She just ran head first to try to help him.
Sincerely,
I'm Not Oprah
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Motel trash
Ok, I have to admit something. I don't blog everyday cause when I sit at the computer, I usually do online banking first. Check in with the ole bank account, just to see how my budget is going. Lately the checking in part has been so depressing I don't feel like writing in a journal. But, I need to get over that. It's a weight loss journal. And I honestly believe having no money has encouraged me to lose weight. The dollar menu at Wendy's is great. A whole baked potato with small chili and water is $2.14 and a great meal for someone who is low on funds, on the go, not wanting to eat fried food. If God works in mysterious ways maybe this is one of them?
So, I'm writing before I look at my bank account. Happy to report I was down a couple of more ounces this morning. I did not exercise yesterday. Parties for the upcoming nuptials are taking up some exercise time. And I miss the gym. The optimal day is three lovely hours to spend there. One hour on the elliptical, one hour in pool and sauna and one hour to shower and do make up and hair. Seven days a week. I wrote once that losing weight is like taking on a part time job. So this job would be 14 hours a week. It would be so much easier if I could get my fat butt and menopot out of bed at 5:30 am and just go. It would be a mini miracle if I could ever get into that routine.
A bright spot to report is I wore a belt that was a present from my husband last Christmas. My daughter reminded my when I unwrapped it last year she and I both looked at it then looked at my husband ( who by the way was clueless.) The belt did not even fit my daughter who was four sizes smaller than me at the time. It was one of those awkward moments. The "how in the world did you think I could fit into that?" moment. Which, once again, proves my point. My husband stopped looking at me after baby weight came along. I'm not saying this fact is bad. It's probably one of the reasons we stayed married. He became very happy with the lights off and he has a great imagination. SO, I wore the belt around my waist and not hips. It was not uncomfortable. I'm thinking it is the elliptical. I'm not too sure how that machine works on the waist though.
And, in the car today, my daughter wants me to start writing down stories from my childhood and life so they won't be forgotten. Since this is my journal, I'm going to start adding them at the end of each weight and exercise portion. Who knows, it may offer some insight into weight gain or habitual eating.
Humph.................................................................It's almost like forcing someone to look at slides of family vacations. I'll start with the motel stories. Besides, I remember these the best and they still make me laugh. Owning an interstate motel was a dream of my father's. He wanted to have a business with "non-depletable inventory." After my father passed away I can't say I ever wondered what he would say about any given situation. His voice seems to ring through my head. My relationship with my father is probably one of the reasons for the weight gain. But, I need to make one thing very clear. He was never mean or cruel in any way to me. In fact, he loved me very much. I have no doubt. Working beside him was hard. My daughter ask me why I was not a millionaire like my father was. I could never work as hard as he did. And he could never truly understand why other people did not want to work as hard. When he died, I will admit to being relieved. I felt like I could breathe for the first time ever. It is still odd to me that I feel that way. He died with his running shoes on....literally. On a treadmill. He ran four to five miles each day on a treadmill. He had his first heart attack at 55, starting running and never quit till the age of 69 when he had his second heart attack that killed him. My family knows he would have never stopped any other way. So to say, "he stopped dead in his tracks," makes me smile simply because he was a force of mental energy. God knew this was the only way to get him to relax. We owned a motel for about 20 years. It was the Texas version of the BBC series "Faulty Towers." Adjacent to the motel was a restaurant and on the other side a little store. We owned both of those also. The store we leased out, but the 300-seat restaurant we ran seven days a week. Dad lived full time at the motel in an apartment, so he could manage it 24/7. Mom lived in a brick ranch style house just across a pasture and a pond behind the motel. My two sisters and I worked alongside our parents for most of our lives. In Dad's previous restaurants in the 70's when we were teenagers and his retirement business when we were all married with children. One of the things that amazed me most was the perception by the public that things done at an interstate motel were somehow private. To this day I am very conscious of what I put in the trash at any motel/hotel.
Sincerely,
I'm Not Oprah
So, I'm writing before I look at my bank account. Happy to report I was down a couple of more ounces this morning. I did not exercise yesterday. Parties for the upcoming nuptials are taking up some exercise time. And I miss the gym. The optimal day is three lovely hours to spend there. One hour on the elliptical, one hour in pool and sauna and one hour to shower and do make up and hair. Seven days a week. I wrote once that losing weight is like taking on a part time job. So this job would be 14 hours a week. It would be so much easier if I could get my fat butt and menopot out of bed at 5:30 am and just go. It would be a mini miracle if I could ever get into that routine.
A bright spot to report is I wore a belt that was a present from my husband last Christmas. My daughter reminded my when I unwrapped it last year she and I both looked at it then looked at my husband ( who by the way was clueless.) The belt did not even fit my daughter who was four sizes smaller than me at the time. It was one of those awkward moments. The "how in the world did you think I could fit into that?" moment. Which, once again, proves my point. My husband stopped looking at me after baby weight came along. I'm not saying this fact is bad. It's probably one of the reasons we stayed married. He became very happy with the lights off and he has a great imagination. SO, I wore the belt around my waist and not hips. It was not uncomfortable. I'm thinking it is the elliptical. I'm not too sure how that machine works on the waist though.
And, in the car today, my daughter wants me to start writing down stories from my childhood and life so they won't be forgotten. Since this is my journal, I'm going to start adding them at the end of each weight and exercise portion. Who knows, it may offer some insight into weight gain or habitual eating.
Humph.................................................................It's almost like forcing someone to look at slides of family vacations. I'll start with the motel stories. Besides, I remember these the best and they still make me laugh. Owning an interstate motel was a dream of my father's. He wanted to have a business with "non-depletable inventory." After my father passed away I can't say I ever wondered what he would say about any given situation. His voice seems to ring through my head. My relationship with my father is probably one of the reasons for the weight gain. But, I need to make one thing very clear. He was never mean or cruel in any way to me. In fact, he loved me very much. I have no doubt. Working beside him was hard. My daughter ask me why I was not a millionaire like my father was. I could never work as hard as he did. And he could never truly understand why other people did not want to work as hard. When he died, I will admit to being relieved. I felt like I could breathe for the first time ever. It is still odd to me that I feel that way. He died with his running shoes on....literally. On a treadmill. He ran four to five miles each day on a treadmill. He had his first heart attack at 55, starting running and never quit till the age of 69 when he had his second heart attack that killed him. My family knows he would have never stopped any other way. So to say, "he stopped dead in his tracks," makes me smile simply because he was a force of mental energy. God knew this was the only way to get him to relax. We owned a motel for about 20 years. It was the Texas version of the BBC series "Faulty Towers." Adjacent to the motel was a restaurant and on the other side a little store. We owned both of those also. The store we leased out, but the 300-seat restaurant we ran seven days a week. Dad lived full time at the motel in an apartment, so he could manage it 24/7. Mom lived in a brick ranch style house just across a pasture and a pond behind the motel. My two sisters and I worked alongside our parents for most of our lives. In Dad's previous restaurants in the 70's when we were teenagers and his retirement business when we were all married with children. One of the things that amazed me most was the perception by the public that things done at an interstate motel were somehow private. To this day I am very conscious of what I put in the trash at any motel/hotel.
Sincerely,
I'm Not Oprah
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Fat cells
I heard something very interesting on the radio last night. During one of those call-in shows. This particular one was on AM radio and always comes on locally 9-10 pm on Saturday nights. It's a medical doctor answering questions about health etc. Does it make me sound weird that I like to listen to this guy? Here's what I heard. A new study about fat cells was published. It's been proven that there are different kinds of fat cells. That is not new. What he was pointing out is a study about skinny people who agreed to try very hard to gain weight all for the purpose of studying fat cells. It was discovered that as they gained weight new fat cells formed on their legs and thighs, but the fat cells in the mid-section simply stretched and got larger. When trying to lose the weight gained, it was more difficult to lose the weight from the stretched cells than from the newly formed fat cells. Ah ha! I really don't know why it is rewarding to have science prove what I already knew. My menapot seems destined to be with me. Yet, the study indicated all weight gained was eventually lost.
And, I did it again at a wedding yesterday. I ate the cake and I really don't like cake. I need to give this some thought. Going to a wedding shower today. I need to tank up on a HUGE salad before.
Sincerely,
I'm not Oprah
And, I did it again at a wedding yesterday. I ate the cake and I really don't like cake. I need to give this some thought. Going to a wedding shower today. I need to tank up on a HUGE salad before.
Sincerely,
I'm not Oprah
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
The Gym Part 2
Yes, I'm still alive. Yes I'm still on track towards my goal of 140 pounds of resplendent beauty. Ha! I'm the smallest I have been since I started. It's about two - 4 ounces daily gone, vanished from my body. I checked my records, from Sept. 4 to Oct. 4, four pounds disappeared. I am now really anxious to go back to the OBGYN for the weigh in. That's the place I consider my official weight record.
Ok, on with Gym Part 2. Things I like about it....................
1. It's close. Five minutes and I'm there.
2. Salt water pool. Much better than chlorine.
3. Priced right through my husband's insurance.
4. Has a kid's zone. I took my granddaughter once. She loved it. It's $1.80/hour( if you purchase 25 hours in advance with no expiration. )
5. I've now done two days on elliptical and did not kill myself or hate it. Those people on The Biggest Loser make it look awful. It was NOT awful. Of course, I only did level 2, 30 minutes. AND, you can charge your IPhone, watch TV, listen to your IPod. And, these machines have built in fans that blow in your face. Pretty darn cool.
6. Reconnecting with several older people from our community.
Things I do NOT like...............
1. Exercising next to men of any shape and size. Call me a complete weird-o but this bugs me.
2. Sitting in the sauna where countless sweaty guys have sat. The sauna is clean. It's just the thoughts that bug me.
3. Walking in. Yep this bothers me 'cause EVERYONE stares at you. And I normally look like crap to go exercise.
4. The general noise of a gym. I exercise for peace of mind. I have always enjoyed walking. With no headphones. The pool is peaceful. The gym is noisy.
5. The $35 monthly I'm spending for the privilege to experience numbers 1 - 4.
I'm absolutely positive this list will grow. As it grows, maybe my butt will shrink.
Sincerely,
I'm Not Oprah
Ok, on with Gym Part 2. Things I like about it....................
1. It's close. Five minutes and I'm there.
2. Salt water pool. Much better than chlorine.
3. Priced right through my husband's insurance.
4. Has a kid's zone. I took my granddaughter once. She loved it. It's $1.80/hour( if you purchase 25 hours in advance with no expiration. )
5. I've now done two days on elliptical and did not kill myself or hate it. Those people on The Biggest Loser make it look awful. It was NOT awful. Of course, I only did level 2, 30 minutes. AND, you can charge your IPhone, watch TV, listen to your IPod. And, these machines have built in fans that blow in your face. Pretty darn cool.
6. Reconnecting with several older people from our community.
Things I do NOT like...............
1. Exercising next to men of any shape and size. Call me a complete weird-o but this bugs me.
2. Sitting in the sauna where countless sweaty guys have sat. The sauna is clean. It's just the thoughts that bug me.
3. Walking in. Yep this bothers me 'cause EVERYONE stares at you. And I normally look like crap to go exercise.
4. The general noise of a gym. I exercise for peace of mind. I have always enjoyed walking. With no headphones. The pool is peaceful. The gym is noisy.
5. The $35 monthly I'm spending for the privilege to experience numbers 1 - 4.
I'm absolutely positive this list will grow. As it grows, maybe my butt will shrink.
Sincerely,
I'm Not Oprah
Sunday, September 26, 2010
The Gym
I joined a local gym. I thought I might as well bite the bullet before I got out of the habit of exercising. My neighborhood pool will close soon and the weather is turning. The one time in my entire life I wanted it to stay hot....and we are having an early fall....you can feel it in the air. Crisp nights that feel like football and hot chocolate. With loads of whip cream...Ha!!! It is so obvious why my hips are the largest part of me. Everything in my life seems to relate to or revolve around food. I was at a wedding shower today and could not wait to eat the cake and I didn't even like the taste of it. I kept hearing the voice in my head say it would be rude not to have a piece. Not a soul there would have noticed if I had politely declined. After growing up in the home I did, I caught myself during my college years counting the number of drinks everyone had. Today I caught myself watching other women at the party eat cake. I am feeling seriously deranged.
Back to the topic of the gym. I visited on Saturday and discovered they have a salt water pool. I had swam there years ago and the amount of chlorine they used was sickening. The place was clean, the music was not blaring and I discovered mostly old people. 70+ in the heated pool. That works for me. I'll miss my resplendent tan. "My" gym is also opened 7 days a week. I have already packed my morning workout bag with shampoo and such. Cutting out all the excuses not to go. I told one spry octogenarian that I was very achy and sore and hobbled and limped everywhere before I started exercising. She described a horrible future for me if I were to ever stop.
My husband is home now. Gotta go.
Sincerely,
I'm so Not Oprah
Back to the topic of the gym. I visited on Saturday and discovered they have a salt water pool. I had swam there years ago and the amount of chlorine they used was sickening. The place was clean, the music was not blaring and I discovered mostly old people. 70+ in the heated pool. That works for me. I'll miss my resplendent tan. "My" gym is also opened 7 days a week. I have already packed my morning workout bag with shampoo and such. Cutting out all the excuses not to go. I told one spry octogenarian that I was very achy and sore and hobbled and limped everywhere before I started exercising. She described a horrible future for me if I were to ever stop.
My husband is home now. Gotta go.
Sincerely,
I'm so Not Oprah
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Hippos
My exercise buddy suggested I call this blog hippos because of our last conversation in the pool. It has become apparent of us why hippos spend so much time in the water. I'm typing this as I slowly suck on 18 choc. malt balls( worth 180) calories which is pretty darn good for me. Usually by this time I'm out of calories and over the daily limit I've set for myself. I could probably eat 18 more and still be in good standing but 18 is honestly all I want.
I'm exercising daily. I read somewhere that three days a week of exercising maintains your weight, exercising four days a week you should lose weight. Four days WAS NOT cutting the mustard. So, I just said to myself , "better exercise today cause you never know what is going to happen to prevent it tomorrow." So, it's been 8 weeks of exercising every day or nearly every day. This morning when I weighed I was down the lowest since I started. Remember when I say that, my scale measures by the ounce. So, I'm a few ounces smaller. Very small daily victories. Yet, from my armpits to my knees I still look lumpy. ARRGGGHHH. I would die if I had to be on the biggest loser and stand in front of the world in a bra and exercise shorts.
Two things did happen today worth noting. I saw someone I had not seen since last October. A man that mowed our lawn when I was a child. He has always been somewhat of a Casanova and good at it. He did not recognize me in a restaurant today. He winked at me. I was taken aback and so was he when he realized who I was. He told me how good I looked. That is not normal for my daily life. Hmmm
Plus, the deli man offered me free meat. That does not happen in my daily life. I thought the deli man was acting odd cause he kept asking me deli questions. It's usually I want a pound of this or that, sliced thin, please. Ok, here you go, thank you ma'am. Today was different. It's probably the tan.
I'm happy I've graduated up to larger juice jugs in the pool. The smaller Welch's jugs are no longer challenging. My financial class is challenging. I'm going to have to really like my TV and community pool for the next year or so while I'm paying off a wedding.
Thank you to my friends that read this. I'm not poor pitiful polly, I have more friends, but the ones that are particularly understanding and compassionate are the ones I have shared my blog with. Reshaping your life is difficult. I could not do this without you!
I'm exercising daily. I read somewhere that three days a week of exercising maintains your weight, exercising four days a week you should lose weight. Four days WAS NOT cutting the mustard. So, I just said to myself , "better exercise today cause you never know what is going to happen to prevent it tomorrow." So, it's been 8 weeks of exercising every day or nearly every day. This morning when I weighed I was down the lowest since I started. Remember when I say that, my scale measures by the ounce. So, I'm a few ounces smaller. Very small daily victories. Yet, from my armpits to my knees I still look lumpy. ARRGGGHHH. I would die if I had to be on the biggest loser and stand in front of the world in a bra and exercise shorts.
Two things did happen today worth noting. I saw someone I had not seen since last October. A man that mowed our lawn when I was a child. He has always been somewhat of a Casanova and good at it. He did not recognize me in a restaurant today. He winked at me. I was taken aback and so was he when he realized who I was. He told me how good I looked. That is not normal for my daily life. Hmmm
Plus, the deli man offered me free meat. That does not happen in my daily life. I thought the deli man was acting odd cause he kept asking me deli questions. It's usually I want a pound of this or that, sliced thin, please. Ok, here you go, thank you ma'am. Today was different. It's probably the tan.
I'm happy I've graduated up to larger juice jugs in the pool. The smaller Welch's jugs are no longer challenging. My financial class is challenging. I'm going to have to really like my TV and community pool for the next year or so while I'm paying off a wedding.
Thank you to my friends that read this. I'm not poor pitiful polly, I have more friends, but the ones that are particularly understanding and compassionate are the ones I have shared my blog with. Reshaping your life is difficult. I could not do this without you!
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Too much sugar
I ate big red ice cream for dinner. (audible sigh) so, I really didn't have much except a bunch of sugar. I can't sleep and I'm up writing on the computer at 4:45 am.
My husband has to go in front of our city council tonight to defend our community theater. The council wants to charge more than our non-profit could afford for use of the newly built civic center. I usually toss and turn in bed putting together speeches in my head and building arguments ( like debate class.) I think I have decided now since I have an empty nest, just to get up and write things down. So I did and emailed my thoughts to my husband, which sounds odd since I hear him snoring, but he'll get it at work. It's basically just an intro and conclusion for whatever speech he is going to make. He is a very capable public speaker, but I am a better writer. We make a good team. I really like the basis for the speech I wrote. My husband wrote a wonderful letter to the patrons in our season program tallying 30 years of community service hours given by volunteers at our theater. I'll give him credit for that part of my speech. I appealed to the community service aspect of being a council member. I decided to approach them with the idea of charging them every time they sat in their seats, and then also charging them for every minute it took them to make a decision. And also point out the people charging them for their community service have no idea how a city council worked. Oh well, the speech I wrote was much more eloquent and tactful.
For a blog about diet and exercise I have really gotten off topic. Except that all this extra energy must be from the sugar, yet my Dad would swear the less he ate, the less sleep he required.
Lastly I signed up for Dave Ramsey's financial freedom thirteen week course at my church. If I am going to be more disciplined in my eating and exercising I might as well throw in finances also!
I just figured out how to use the spell check. Words misspelled show up in yellow. I am way behind the curve ball in many aspects of my life.
Sincerely,
I'm Not Oprah
My husband has to go in front of our city council tonight to defend our community theater. The council wants to charge more than our non-profit could afford for use of the newly built civic center. I usually toss and turn in bed putting together speeches in my head and building arguments ( like debate class.) I think I have decided now since I have an empty nest, just to get up and write things down. So I did and emailed my thoughts to my husband, which sounds odd since I hear him snoring, but he'll get it at work. It's basically just an intro and conclusion for whatever speech he is going to make. He is a very capable public speaker, but I am a better writer. We make a good team. I really like the basis for the speech I wrote. My husband wrote a wonderful letter to the patrons in our season program tallying 30 years of community service hours given by volunteers at our theater. I'll give him credit for that part of my speech. I appealed to the community service aspect of being a council member. I decided to approach them with the idea of charging them every time they sat in their seats, and then also charging them for every minute it took them to make a decision. And also point out the people charging them for their community service have no idea how a city council worked. Oh well, the speech I wrote was much more eloquent and tactful.
For a blog about diet and exercise I have really gotten off topic. Except that all this extra energy must be from the sugar, yet my Dad would swear the less he ate, the less sleep he required.
Lastly I signed up for Dave Ramsey's financial freedom thirteen week course at my church. If I am going to be more disciplined in my eating and exercising I might as well throw in finances also!
I just figured out how to use the spell check. Words misspelled show up in yellow. I am way behind the curve ball in many aspects of my life.
Sincerely,
I'm Not Oprah
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Swimming
I took my menopot swimming today. I could win a treading water contest. I come complete with a ready made flotation device. Once again, exercise is easy. My largest obstacle continues to be logging the food and calories that go through the lips. If you don't log it immediately you forget. Logging it as soon as you eat is important because my app records time also, so I can go back and see what time of day I eat the most.
As with any addictive behavior, becoming AWARE of all aspects of the habit is one of the keys to changing the pattern.
Here is an aspect. Take a look around at the patrons in the all-you-can-eat pizza place. There is one in my town. I look around at the people eating the high-fat-extremely-awful for you food. Depressing.
That is not who I want to be.
Sincerely and continuing to take my menopot swimming,
I'm Not Oprah
As with any addictive behavior, becoming AWARE of all aspects of the habit is one of the keys to changing the pattern.
Here is an aspect. Take a look around at the patrons in the all-you-can-eat pizza place. There is one in my town. I look around at the people eating the high-fat-extremely-awful for you food. Depressing.
That is not who I want to be.
Sincerely and continuing to take my menopot swimming,
I'm Not Oprah
Friday, September 10, 2010
Cut Out the Excuses
I interviewed a man years ago (more than 20) for an article on exercise. I was writing a promotional piece for a local fittness center. (I worked for the parent company.) The man would get up at 4:30 every morning to exercise. Personally I thought he was crazy, but he said something that stuck with me. You know, one of those thoughts that just keeps floating around in your brain. He said, "Cut out the excuses not to exercise." I have thought recently of all the excuses I gave myself in the past 5 years while my muscles diminished and my thighs got larger. All my excuses center around the weather. Can't walk in the heat, can't walk in the cold, can't walk in the rain, can't walk in the wind cause my hat would blow off and heaven forbid I might get skin cancer blah, blah, blah. My excuses for not using the neighborhood pool were also endless. The main one being I don't like chlorine. If I ever had a pool I think I'd like a salt water pool.
Excuses used by my friends also entertain me. One friend would always say when I invited her to go walking,..."I just don't like to sweat." All I can say to that excuse is Hello Menopot, stick around FOREVER. And then she would say,"I just don't want to shower twice a day." I showered twice yesterday which got me thinking about her. Yes she's overweight and no she does not currently read this blog. But she might one day and if she does she needs to know I am mad at her for her stupid excuses. Hmmmmm I need to study the anger part of that. Why would I get mad at someone for doing what I did for the last five years?
I've been showering twice daily now for weeks. It's irritating cause all my hair color is washing out and I'm slathering on the lotion. THAT being said.....I weighed this morning and I weigh the least I have since I started my journey. I suppose my menopot is shrinking. I certainly doesn't look like it.
Sincerely trying to cut out alllllllll the excuses,
I'm Not Oprah
Excuses used by my friends also entertain me. One friend would always say when I invited her to go walking,..."I just don't like to sweat." All I can say to that excuse is Hello Menopot, stick around FOREVER. And then she would say,"I just don't want to shower twice a day." I showered twice yesterday which got me thinking about her. Yes she's overweight and no she does not currently read this blog. But she might one day and if she does she needs to know I am mad at her for her stupid excuses. Hmmmmm I need to study the anger part of that. Why would I get mad at someone for doing what I did for the last five years?
I've been showering twice daily now for weeks. It's irritating cause all my hair color is washing out and I'm slathering on the lotion. THAT being said.....I weighed this morning and I weigh the least I have since I started my journey. I suppose my menopot is shrinking. I certainly doesn't look like it.
Sincerely trying to cut out alllllllll the excuses,
I'm Not Oprah
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Dopamine
After watching a news program last night I learned that salt, fat and sugar trigger dopamine release in the brain. Dopamine is the chemical in the brain that regulates emotion. I feel I am doomed. That sounds too dramatic. I mentioned to my husband that I thought it was salt I craved. Then I have honestly discovered that if I save my calories so that I could eat two hot dogs with chips, I really feel like crap afterwards. Well on top of the hot dogs I had lemon pie and banana pudding. Those last two probably help contribute to the crappy feeling for seven hours afterward.
The TV show featured a woman who had electrodes implanted in her brain to stop her cravings. She would drink a liter of Pepsi a day, plus eat other things. She went through gastric bypass and she was still morbidly obese. She was my height and weighed exactly 100 pounds more than I do. With the new electrodes, her cravings dimished. Scientists claim they have proved it's all about what's going on in your brain, not stomach. Duh......
Yesterday was the first day I have not exercised. A hurricane got in my way.
I'm Not Oprah
The TV show featured a woman who had electrodes implanted in her brain to stop her cravings. She would drink a liter of Pepsi a day, plus eat other things. She went through gastric bypass and she was still morbidly obese. She was my height and weighed exactly 100 pounds more than I do. With the new electrodes, her cravings dimished. Scientists claim they have proved it's all about what's going on in your brain, not stomach. Duh......
Yesterday was the first day I have not exercised. A hurricane got in my way.
I'm Not Oprah
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Resplendent
It's official. I weighed today. Five pounds gone in one month. Sounds so minuscule. My sister would always say slow weight loss is MUCH better than slow weight gain. Very easy at this point to just stop. The clothes in my closet fit better. My knees feel better. But, technically, I am still considered obese....or corpulent. Why do the words associated with this struggle sound so .....ickey?
Here's a bright point I will focus on today and for as long as I can. I have a lovely tan. And it was free. No tanning membership. As a result of swimming everyday, I am golden. HAH! That's a positive. My thesaurus gives resplendent as a synonoym for golden.
Yes, I wear sunsreen and a huge hat. I'm still resplendent.
Sincerely,
I'm Not Oprah
Here's a bright point I will focus on today and for as long as I can. I have a lovely tan. And it was free. No tanning membership. As a result of swimming everyday, I am golden. HAH! That's a positive. My thesaurus gives resplendent as a synonoym for golden.
Yes, I wear sunsreen and a huge hat. I'm still resplendent.
Sincerely,
I'm Not Oprah
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Anything Different?
I casually ask my husband one day if he noticed anything different. My husband is extremely kind and never in all the years of marriage, has he ever said I was fat. But, the flip side of that is he does not comment on any weight loss either. No, I do not live with a blind man. I think I live with a very smart guy, who knows me very well. But, my daughter and her fiancee thought my husband's response to the "anything different question, " was a classic answer.
So I stood in front of him, with a towel wrapped around my @#%#@ menopot and ask, "DO you notice anything different?" He very seriously answered, "Less neck wrinkles?"
My daughter and her intended have adopted that phrase as their new standard answer when a spouse has no idea how to reply to a question.
Still swimming. Stopped weighing as often. It's too depressing. Did put on a pair of jeans that were previously tight and uncomfortable and had to wear a belt. Yea!!!
Sincerely,
I'm Not Oprah
So I stood in front of him, with a towel wrapped around my @#%#@ menopot and ask, "DO you notice anything different?" He very seriously answered, "Less neck wrinkles?"
My daughter and her intended have adopted that phrase as their new standard answer when a spouse has no idea how to reply to a question.
Still swimming. Stopped weighing as often. It's too depressing. Did put on a pair of jeans that were previously tight and uncomfortable and had to wear a belt. Yea!!!
Sincerely,
I'm Not Oprah
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Menopot
The only thing I have done these past five days to keep the I'm not Oprah promise to myself is EXERCISE. I purchased a Weight Watcher's magazine. Read an insightful bit of news. It appears that women after menopause can lose up to ten pounds of muscle each year. Do the math, if your weight remains the same, the muscle tone you once had is now what the article calls your "menopot." How disgusting is that? Menopot - spare tire menopausal women get around the middle that makes them desperate for an elastic waist band. My brain finally put it together. I couldn't figure out why lifting weights was soooooo important. Now I know. It is the muscle that burns fat/calories. If your muscles start disappearing after menopause, then there is nothing left on your body to burn fat. You could literally starve yourself and still remain a gelatinous blob. "The old metabolism has ground to a halt" is really the truth. I suppose I could go on Survivor and not lose a pound cause even eating coconuts all day would be too many calories for a gelatinous blob. So, while my weight has evened out I will continue to exercise. I do not ache, limp or hobble so some muscle tone is reappearing. Just not through the middle. I'm shrinking, slowly, very slowly from the top down and the bottom up. My shoes are sliding off and so are my glasses.
I'm currently reading three books. My neighbor gave me Eat, Pray, Love. On chapter 17. I never want to give up on a book because I always think somewhere I'll find the part that makes it a book on the best-seller list. I haven't gotten there yet with this novel. I obviously have nothing in common with the author. I really need to get to the Eat part, but it will be sad if she eats her way across three countries and encourages everyone to do that.
Took my granddaughter to the zoo today and purchased a year membership. We had a lovely time.
Oh, the other book I am reading is Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis. And I haven't gotten past the foreward written by Lewis. He is defending how and why he wrote what he did and the different approaches to the subject matter he did or did not support. And the other book I had to stop reading for a while till I recovered from the story line. Same Kind of Different As Me by Ron Hall and Denver Moore. It just got toooo sad.
I'm headed to the pool to work on the menopot. That is officially my new disgusting title for my flab.
Sincerely,
I'm Not Oprah
I'm currently reading three books. My neighbor gave me Eat, Pray, Love. On chapter 17. I never want to give up on a book because I always think somewhere I'll find the part that makes it a book on the best-seller list. I haven't gotten there yet with this novel. I obviously have nothing in common with the author. I really need to get to the Eat part, but it will be sad if she eats her way across three countries and encourages everyone to do that.
Took my granddaughter to the zoo today and purchased a year membership. We had a lovely time.
Oh, the other book I am reading is Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis. And I haven't gotten past the foreward written by Lewis. He is defending how and why he wrote what he did and the different approaches to the subject matter he did or did not support. And the other book I had to stop reading for a while till I recovered from the story line. Same Kind of Different As Me by Ron Hall and Denver Moore. It just got toooo sad.
I'm headed to the pool to work on the menopot. That is officially my new disgusting title for my flab.
Sincerely,
I'm Not Oprah
Monday, August 23, 2010
Trigger Finger
I met friends at the pool at 6 am this morning. Once again, exercise is not the problem. It's the food and always has been. These same friends were with me last night while I ate two bowls of home-made big red ice cream, (my favorite.) I ate the two bowls. They did not. I need to ask them why and how they resisted. Swimming with them was fun. One likes to read. One likes to talk. So I am covered for whatever exercise mood I am in.
Speaking of friends, I want them to sign up as a follower of this blog. One of them sends me text messages when I don't blog. So, if you're reading this sign up. I think it would make me accountable to keeping up with the emotional issues that go along with weight loss.
The weekend of performances went well at the theatre. Audiences were good. I had an awful experience. I will try to explain what my part of the production is. I sit in the booth above the stage. I really thoroughly enjoy this spot. I am part of the show but the audience does not see me, (except in this particular production I run down the steps three times to be Little Red Riding Hood's Granny. The I run back up the stairs while throwing off the wig and shawl to run the computer.) It sounds amateur, I know. The director did me a favor letting me take part, because it IS fun, just a bit nerve-racking. And the other granny was doing a show in the metroplex and could not be in our show till this coming weekend.
Back to the awful experience. It involves my nemesis....the computer. If you have read this blog before, you are aware of the fact that computers are not my favorite thing to deal with. Just revisiting what happened is making me feel sick again. That is why I am writing this event in my blog. I lost my appetite completely. Skipped lunch. Those two things RARELY happen to me. If weight loss is really about emotion as much as anything else I need to examine this further. My emotions made me lose my appetite and my emotions make me eat way toooooo much. Hmmm, there is something needing to be examined.
Getting on....the lights, sound effects and music are all built into hundreds of cues. They are put in the order of how the show happens, of course. And if you mess up in hitting the space bar to fire the cues off then the entire show comes to a screeching halt, or pages and pages of dialogue are missed, or a song stops midway through, or a baby cries when birds are to sing, or the giant speaks when violins are to gently waft in the background, or the stage simply goes black while 130 audience members just sit and wonder what happened.
Now you have the picture of the mistakes that have occured while I am sitting at the computer. It sounds pitiful. Perfectly mirroring the look on the face of the owner of the theatre as he scrambles to repair the damage. Since I'm a volunteer he can't fire me. He could reassign me to simply making popcorn for concessions. He calls it trigger finger. You're so anxious to hit the cue at just the right moment. When he gave me the job it sounded so easy. SO.....
I have three days to recover and try again this weekend.
Sincerely,
I'm Not Oprah
Speaking of friends, I want them to sign up as a follower of this blog. One of them sends me text messages when I don't blog. So, if you're reading this sign up. I think it would make me accountable to keeping up with the emotional issues that go along with weight loss.
The weekend of performances went well at the theatre. Audiences were good. I had an awful experience. I will try to explain what my part of the production is. I sit in the booth above the stage. I really thoroughly enjoy this spot. I am part of the show but the audience does not see me, (except in this particular production I run down the steps three times to be Little Red Riding Hood's Granny. The I run back up the stairs while throwing off the wig and shawl to run the computer.) It sounds amateur, I know. The director did me a favor letting me take part, because it IS fun, just a bit nerve-racking. And the other granny was doing a show in the metroplex and could not be in our show till this coming weekend.
Back to the awful experience. It involves my nemesis....the computer. If you have read this blog before, you are aware of the fact that computers are not my favorite thing to deal with. Just revisiting what happened is making me feel sick again. That is why I am writing this event in my blog. I lost my appetite completely. Skipped lunch. Those two things RARELY happen to me. If weight loss is really about emotion as much as anything else I need to examine this further. My emotions made me lose my appetite and my emotions make me eat way toooooo much. Hmmm, there is something needing to be examined.
Getting on....the lights, sound effects and music are all built into hundreds of cues. They are put in the order of how the show happens, of course. And if you mess up in hitting the space bar to fire the cues off then the entire show comes to a screeching halt, or pages and pages of dialogue are missed, or a song stops midway through, or a baby cries when birds are to sing, or the giant speaks when violins are to gently waft in the background, or the stage simply goes black while 130 audience members just sit and wonder what happened.
Now you have the picture of the mistakes that have occured while I am sitting at the computer. It sounds pitiful. Perfectly mirroring the look on the face of the owner of the theatre as he scrambles to repair the damage. Since I'm a volunteer he can't fire me. He could reassign me to simply making popcorn for concessions. He calls it trigger finger. You're so anxious to hit the cue at just the right moment. When he gave me the job it sounded so easy. SO.....
I have three days to recover and try again this weekend.
Sincerely,
I'm Not Oprah
Friday, August 20, 2010
Scarf
To many more educated than I, the word scarf carries several definitions. When I blog I keep my dictionary app handy. I just looked up scarf. I do believe I missused or misspelled this word. Perhaps I was looking for a different word with a different spelling, but pronounced similar to scarf. I was picturing a dog, scarfing down food, hurriedly, without any effort to taste or enjoy. Like my yellow lab with a piece of cheese. Or me with chocolate almond ice cream. I was HORRIFIED to learn from my handy dictionary app that scarf also means to masturbate while strangling oneself.
Not really the meaning I was going for.
Sincerely,
I'm Not Oprah
Not really the meaning I was going for.
Sincerely,
I'm Not Oprah
Pie Night
Tonight is pie night. A fun tradition at our theatre celebrating the halfway mark of each show. Since we live in town and the majority of the performers are from out of town, we are hosting the soiree. It's early in the day and I am already worrying about the amount of will-power it will take to politely refuse cherry, key-lime and coconut cream. If they just happen to bring butter brickle pistachio I won't eat a slice. I could spend 6 hours in the pool. That might eat up enough calories in advance. I could invite the guests in and leave to take a walk around the neighborhood. I will be grappling with this most of the day and will probably have to blog several times as I attempt to rewire my brain around pie night.
Weigh in was four ounces less than yesterday. Yes, ounces. After menopause, metabolism slows down to the pace of a slug....no slower than that.
Sincerely,
I'm Not Oprah
Weigh in was four ounces less than yesterday. Yes, ounces. After menopause, metabolism slows down to the pace of a slug....no slower than that.
Sincerely,
I'm Not Oprah
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Coming out of the Blog Closet
My daughter knows about my blog. She appears to be ok with it. My husband knows, my neighbor knows and a couple of good friends. I still find it odd to put something out on the world wide web that ANYBODY can read. It is a form of accountability. When trying to re-wire your brain to think and do healthy, low-calorie, low-fat things, accountability helps. And when you're around those who know about your struggle, you really can't look them in the eye and scarf down a triple dip chocolate almond sugar cone from Braum's. My husband came through the door the other night and I quickly, though deftly, hid the chocolate malt balls I was munching on while watching a movie. I did not weigh in for two days. Made an extreme effort to get back on track and today weighed a decent amount. An amount that shows me something is working.
Still swimming everyday, but when the eating doesn't match up, there is no weight loss, no matter how many hours I spend doing water aerobics.There is such a large part of me that says "Ten pounds is good. You've stopped snoring, you've stopped aching, and now clothes are more comfortable. It's time to stop."
I'm not going to. By what the doctor says, I am obese. That sounds soooo disgusting. Not morbidly obese, but as one doctor told me, "You're chubby." What would you do if your friends just told you to your face..."You are obese." Bettter they should say what my favorite cartoon of all time says...
Old woman says to her husband while she is standing in front of a mirror trying on a dress, "Charles, does this dress make me look fat?" His reply, "No, my dear, it's the fat that makes you look fat."
Sincerely,
I'm Not Oprah
Still swimming everyday, but when the eating doesn't match up, there is no weight loss, no matter how many hours I spend doing water aerobics.There is such a large part of me that says "Ten pounds is good. You've stopped snoring, you've stopped aching, and now clothes are more comfortable. It's time to stop."
I'm not going to. By what the doctor says, I am obese. That sounds soooo disgusting. Not morbidly obese, but as one doctor told me, "You're chubby." What would you do if your friends just told you to your face..."You are obese." Bettter they should say what my favorite cartoon of all time says...
Old woman says to her husband while she is standing in front of a mirror trying on a dress, "Charles, does this dress make me look fat?" His reply, "No, my dear, it's the fat that makes you look fat."
Sincerely,
I'm Not Oprah
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Friends and Food
I can't seem to have friends without food. Meeting over lunch and dinner is so common. And my willpower to say no to the shake, cheeseburger and fries combo is non-existent. I have no will-power. I guess I need to face it. I use to tell myself I didn't spend a lot on shopping because I just didn't put myself at shopping malls that often. I was strong enough to resist the shopping temptation. But that's not true. I really don't like to shop. Some women make a habit of shopping. I avoid it, not because of my great willpower. I just find it BORING. And I think I told myself my willpower was so strong in high school and college, that it kept me out of trouble...no dwi (dui's present tense), no major drunken embarassing moments I barely remember, simply because my willpower was so strong. WRONG. I never liked the taste of beer, still don't and barely can finish one bottle of wine in a month and that is with my husband drinking with me. So, I have to admit it...where food is concerned I need more inner strength. I know half the battle of weight loss is simply recognizing where the problem lies. Most people don't have thyroid problems...they have mental problems. I think Oprah would agree with me on that. No special emphasis on the last statement. I somehow am writing in italics and I CAN'T GET IT TURNED OFF!!!!!!!!! Well hell.
My lack of willpower AND computer skills are depressing me.
Sincerely,
I'm Not Oprah
My lack of willpower AND computer skills are depressing me.
Sincerely,
I'm Not Oprah
Monday, August 16, 2010
Welch's Grape Juice
I gave Welch's grape juice a bit of a plug because their plastic jugs deserve it. When exercising in the past, I started using (and I am using them once again) Welch's grape juice jugs as underwater resistance and flotation devices. They work great. I highly recmd them. The hand grips are just the right size and the grips are in the middle of the jug. Purchase the Light Welch's ( I swear it taste exactly the same as fully sugared.) Enjoy the beverage, don't throw the lids away, peel off the labels, and toss jugs in your swim bag. There is nothing like it for a very good arm workout. Just be creative and your shoulders will reappear after being hidden by fat for years.
Plus, after swimming now for two weeks, I no longer ache. I don't hobble or wobble after getting out of the car. I don't limp and I am MUCH more flexible. Which puts swimming way up on my list of favorite exercises. I still don't put my whole head under. And, of course would not be seen dead without my cover-up on. But swimming is what I would have to recmd. I guess I am going to have to join the fittness club when my little neighborhood pool closes for the winter.
One last observation before I hit the sack, I never realized how many calories beverages have. I am craving orange juice. On hot, extremely hot summer days I crave a huge glass of orange juice. My biggest stuggle last few days has been going over the calorie count just because of beverages. The forzen margarita I had Saturday night certainly didn't help.
I'm still not Oprah
Plus, after swimming now for two weeks, I no longer ache. I don't hobble or wobble after getting out of the car. I don't limp and I am MUCH more flexible. Which puts swimming way up on my list of favorite exercises. I still don't put my whole head under. And, of course would not be seen dead without my cover-up on. But swimming is what I would have to recmd. I guess I am going to have to join the fittness club when my little neighborhood pool closes for the winter.
One last observation before I hit the sack, I never realized how many calories beverages have. I am craving orange juice. On hot, extremely hot summer days I crave a huge glass of orange juice. My biggest stuggle last few days has been going over the calorie count just because of beverages. The forzen margarita I had Saturday night certainly didn't help.
I'm still not Oprah
Sunday, August 15, 2010
I'm not Dead
The dates are wrong on my blog. I went back in to edit spelling and I must have hit something that changed the dates. There's a part of me that hates computers. I tried for two solid hours to hook up my daughter's ATT data port wireless thingy to her mac today and was totally lost.
Whatever...... I went swimming early today cause I really wanted to make it to church. Doing a lot of thanking God these days. And I actually have clothes that fit now, except they are all black. Which is so stupid to wear black when it is 110 degrees outside even if they are capris. (is that how you spell that?) oh well, so I went swimming. As I approach the pool I notice the gate is ajar once again and it looks like someone left trash or a back pack by the pool. I get closer and determine that the trash is really a pair of tennis shoes and wadded up socks and a man's wallet. I look at the wallet and it belongs to a 25 year old guy from out west of here. Like four hours away. On the other side of the pool the supposed back pack is really a pair of bluejeans, belt intact folded with a cell phone nearby. Wherever the guy was he was obviously naked because all of his clothes were in front of me. And he wasn't at the bottom of the pool nor was he in the grass nearby. That's exactly what I told the police when I called the NON-EMERGENCY number. I also stated I had not inspected the bathrooms because I did not want to find a dead body. It never occured someone could be in the bathroom nearly dead and needing help. Besides my knees get weak and I usually pass out or freeze in emergency situations. I've been really frightened before and I know....I'm worthless.
The policeman arrives and I suggest he check the bathrooms first and as he opens the men's door I say," I hope there isn't a dead body in there and a man answers back, "I'm not dead." Apparently a victim of poor judgement and lousy friends, this young man didn't remember how he got there. No beer cans or drug paraphernalia or car anywhere in sight but he admitted having too much to drink. The officer ask me to go get his clothes. When I brought them back I erupted with some very long held emotions about letting his mother worry, about someone in the world loving him, how dangerous alcohol and swimming can be when you're THAT drunk, and the true definition of friends and at 25 he should know better and grow up and I really can't remember the rest. It wasn't a planned speech. When I finished, the police officer ask me if I was ok. And then he added, with a smile, that he couldn't have made the same impact on the young man. The kid called his mother before he left in the back of the squad car. He is on my prayer list.
Chance encounters like that always make me think about what is God's plan. It wasn't for that young man to die last night. It was for me to find him this morning and tell him someone out there loves him very much and that he needs to rethink what he is doing with that love.
Yes, I still went swimming. Didn't put my head under though.
As always,
I'm Not Oprah
Whatever...... I went swimming early today cause I really wanted to make it to church. Doing a lot of thanking God these days. And I actually have clothes that fit now, except they are all black. Which is so stupid to wear black when it is 110 degrees outside even if they are capris. (is that how you spell that?) oh well, so I went swimming. As I approach the pool I notice the gate is ajar once again and it looks like someone left trash or a back pack by the pool. I get closer and determine that the trash is really a pair of tennis shoes and wadded up socks and a man's wallet. I look at the wallet and it belongs to a 25 year old guy from out west of here. Like four hours away. On the other side of the pool the supposed back pack is really a pair of bluejeans, belt intact folded with a cell phone nearby. Wherever the guy was he was obviously naked because all of his clothes were in front of me. And he wasn't at the bottom of the pool nor was he in the grass nearby. That's exactly what I told the police when I called the NON-EMERGENCY number. I also stated I had not inspected the bathrooms because I did not want to find a dead body. It never occured someone could be in the bathroom nearly dead and needing help. Besides my knees get weak and I usually pass out or freeze in emergency situations. I've been really frightened before and I know....I'm worthless.
The policeman arrives and I suggest he check the bathrooms first and as he opens the men's door I say," I hope there isn't a dead body in there and a man answers back, "I'm not dead." Apparently a victim of poor judgement and lousy friends, this young man didn't remember how he got there. No beer cans or drug paraphernalia or car anywhere in sight but he admitted having too much to drink. The officer ask me to go get his clothes. When I brought them back I erupted with some very long held emotions about letting his mother worry, about someone in the world loving him, how dangerous alcohol and swimming can be when you're THAT drunk, and the true definition of friends and at 25 he should know better and grow up and I really can't remember the rest. It wasn't a planned speech. When I finished, the police officer ask me if I was ok. And then he added, with a smile, that he couldn't have made the same impact on the young man. The kid called his mother before he left in the back of the squad car. He is on my prayer list.
Chance encounters like that always make me think about what is God's plan. It wasn't for that young man to die last night. It was for me to find him this morning and tell him someone out there loves him very much and that he needs to rethink what he is doing with that love.
Yes, I still went swimming. Didn't put my head under though.
As always,
I'm Not Oprah
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Explanation
I think an explanation is needed. I ask a friend what a blog was. She told me an online journal of sorts. I need to journal. Some say it is cathartic. Now I can't seem to get away from the color key. Ohhh I need to mention I got a typewriter for college graduation. This blog will go nowhere fast if I can't even figure out how to type on a computer. I'm truly not that backward. My profile says I'm not Oprah. I'm so not Oprah I had to google her to find out how to spell her name. I'm not Oprah because I'm trying to lose weight and keep it off. That's all the phrase means. I really have nothing against the woman. It is just a little phrase to remind me that no matter how rich, how famous, how smart you may appear you can have a fat butt, lose weight and still have the fat butt come back to visit you and stick around for several years.
Back to the idea of blogging. It strikes me as odd that anyone, I repeat anyone would have the ego to think that some stranger might me interested in their opinion or views about any subject. I have never read a blog, though I have friends that do. I listen to talk radio. I listen to find out what they are talking about not necessarily their opinion. I heard one guy say you need to write something daily if you are going to have a blog. I will try. And I will go to the profile to try to figure out how to profile my blog. Here's a start and I wonder if they have keys, buttons or descriptions for this: overweight, past menopause, happily YES happily married and from a dysfunctional family that truly makes me feel like I'm the crazy one. (Oh please there has to be someone out there that might benefit from my life experiences. I've always thought God let's you be put throught hell and back just so you can offer a compassionate ear to your fellow man.)
I started exercising a week ago. First time I have every included diet and exercise together. By diet I am counting calories. By exercise, I am swimming in the neighborhood pool. And in one week I lost 4 pounds. I was floored. It really works. I think I have trust issues. (Never believed the ole "diet and exercise" phrase. For years I would diet....then I would exercise. But never together. Maybe I am the crazy one? I didn't believe my son's oatmeal bowl could change colors with heat till they sent me one in the mail and I tried it. That was in 1988.)
Going to go before husband gets home. Not yet ready to spring this on him.
Sincerely,
I'm Not Oprah
Back to the idea of blogging. It strikes me as odd that anyone, I repeat anyone would have the ego to think that some stranger might me interested in their opinion or views about any subject. I have never read a blog, though I have friends that do. I listen to talk radio. I listen to find out what they are talking about not necessarily their opinion. I heard one guy say you need to write something daily if you are going to have a blog. I will try. And I will go to the profile to try to figure out how to profile my blog. Here's a start and I wonder if they have keys, buttons or descriptions for this: overweight, past menopause, happily YES happily married and from a dysfunctional family that truly makes me feel like I'm the crazy one. (Oh please there has to be someone out there that might benefit from my life experiences. I've always thought God let's you be put throught hell and back just so you can offer a compassionate ear to your fellow man.)
I started exercising a week ago. First time I have every included diet and exercise together. By diet I am counting calories. By exercise, I am swimming in the neighborhood pool. And in one week I lost 4 pounds. I was floored. It really works. I think I have trust issues. (Never believed the ole "diet and exercise" phrase. For years I would diet....then I would exercise. But never together. Maybe I am the crazy one? I didn't believe my son's oatmeal bowl could change colors with heat till they sent me one in the mail and I tried it. That was in 1988.)
Going to go before husband gets home. Not yet ready to spring this on him.
Sincerely,
I'm Not Oprah
Encouragement vs. Will Power
Encouagement while trying to lose weight is a tricky thing. In the past, when someone was kind enough to say, "Wow those pants look like they are going to fall off. How much weight have you lost?" I would take it as permission to go eat ice cream at Braums. That has got to be some weird mental quirk. I am trying to re-wire my brain to say "thank you" to comments like that and keep working. Invariably, you do run into people who haven't seen you in several months. Last night was one of those times. In the reception line at the theatre, a good friend from another town remarked, "Look at your face. You're losing weight!" I was thrilled. So pleased with myself. This time though I did not go out with the gang afterwards to celebrate with a huge bowl of chips and queso. (This is a standard practice in theatre, or at least in our small town. Generally, after one or more weekend performances a group from the theatre goes out for drinks/dinner after the show.We digest our performance along with the food, discussing everything from the lines missed to the mood of the audience. Live theatre is so entertaining. But that is really for another blog, one called hobbies.)
I purposely took separate cars to the theatre so I could drive straight home. I don't have the will power yet. I spoke with my husband and he understands. I want to go out with friends, but going out with friends ALWAYS centers around fooooooood. I'm making myself hungry just talking about it. When I tried weight watchers I use to carry a bag of baked chips in my trunk so I be ready for impromptu restaurant outings.
I weighed this morning and I'm down a few more ounces. I also put my swimsuit on immediately. Thinking if I have it on I will drag my still fat butt to the pool.
I'm going.
Sincerely,
I'm Not Oprah
I purposely took separate cars to the theatre so I could drive straight home. I don't have the will power yet. I spoke with my husband and he understands. I want to go out with friends, but going out with friends ALWAYS centers around fooooooood. I'm making myself hungry just talking about it. When I tried weight watchers I use to carry a bag of baked chips in my trunk so I be ready for impromptu restaurant outings.
I weighed this morning and I'm down a few more ounces. I also put my swimsuit on immediately. Thinking if I have it on I will drag my still fat butt to the pool.
I'm going.
Sincerely,
I'm Not Oprah
Friday, August 13, 2010
Rural Internet Service
Living where I do confines my choices of internet providers. We have a dish on our roof and with normal wear and tear, storms, birds, etc. my internet service is scratchy. That's the appropriate word. Today after a week offline the service tech was out here. A grouchy young guy, but he got the job done. Even though I did not have my online journal, I kept to my promise not to be Oprah. I stayed true to my goal of exercising and counting calories and this morning I weighed the least I have since I started. I weigh every morning. I don't know if that is good or bad. My most current little goal is to get to the obgyn office for my annual exam and just seeeeee if the nurse notices my weight loss. Usually, often, yes for years I have ignored this woman. She's skinny. I'm not. Coming to terms with your weight if often simply recognizing things you have chosen to ignore. (Like your fat butt.) I suppose for years I have chosen to ignore the skinny woman in scrubs who weighs me in during my annual visits. No longer. Nope. She bugs the crap out of me. I'd give anything to hear the words, "My goodness, how did you lose weight?"
I reconnected with a very old and very dear friend today. Had lunch with him. Yes, him. Love him dearly. And my husband knows I do. And I also survived a birthday lunch with my mother and my two sisters. I did not eat ANY of the bread and had the best salmon I have ever tasted. The lunch was very nice.
I decided to heal on the inside and the outside.
Headed to the theatre. I looked in the mirror last night and realized the wig I wear makes me look just like the dead mother in the physco movie.
Sincerely,
I'm not Oprah
I reconnected with a very old and very dear friend today. Had lunch with him. Yes, him. Love him dearly. And my husband knows I do. And I also survived a birthday lunch with my mother and my two sisters. I did not eat ANY of the bread and had the best salmon I have ever tasted. The lunch was very nice.
I decided to heal on the inside and the outside.
Headed to the theatre. I looked in the mirror last night and realized the wig I wear makes me look just like the dead mother in the physco movie.
Sincerely,
I'm not Oprah
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Insanity in the family
Hello again. I've been offline due to a storm. So this blog is coming to you via my new iPhone. It's a little uncomfortable but I'll manage. Insanity in the family for me means just that. I will not publish the goofy things my family does. I'm not out for revenge and I would never want my mom and sisters hurt. Our theatre is currently performing Stephen Sondheim's Into the Woods. Sondheim puts poetry to music. Into the Woods was on broadway in 1987 and was totally overshadowed by Phantom of the Opera. The lyrics of ITW are gorgeous. Full of metaphor,imagery, symbolism, and figurative language. It definitely fits the definition of a classic piece of work because you instantly recognize it as Sondheim, it flows with universal themes of all kinds, and each time you listen to it you are compelled to experience something in your past or present. The song that grips me this time around is called "No More." It is sung by a father and a son but could easily be interpreted parent/child. I would like for my mom and sisters to hear this song several times but they probably never will, not in their lifetimes.
This blog is meant to be helpful. Not sappy. The last thing I'll say about my family is the birthday lunch they have planned for me this Thursday, spearheaded by my mother. I'm pissed about it (is pissed ok to say in a blog? If the profanity police are out there reading you can cut pissed and just say ticked off but pissed pretty much captures how I feel) I'm trying very hard to figure out why it makes me mad. It will take a while to decipher the feelings on this one.
I'm still exercising and still eating. Weight has plateaued. Probably because yesterday at la Madeline I discovered my favorite lunch there has 1070 calories in it. Ahhhhh.
Disclaimer: I do NOT blame my mother and my sisters for my weight. I'm the one that lifts the food to my mouth. That statement is probably a huge step forward.
I'm not Oprah
This blog is meant to be helpful. Not sappy. The last thing I'll say about my family is the birthday lunch they have planned for me this Thursday, spearheaded by my mother. I'm pissed about it (is pissed ok to say in a blog? If the profanity police are out there reading you can cut pissed and just say ticked off but pissed pretty much captures how I feel) I'm trying very hard to figure out why it makes me mad. It will take a while to decipher the feelings on this one.
I'm still exercising and still eating. Weight has plateaued. Probably because yesterday at la Madeline I discovered my favorite lunch there has 1070 calories in it. Ahhhhh.
Disclaimer: I do NOT blame my mother and my sisters for my weight. I'm the one that lifts the food to my mouth. That statement is probably a huge step forward.
I'm not Oprah
Friday, August 6, 2010
New Part Time Job
It dawned on me you have to think of weight loss as a part-time job. The time spent exercising, the time spent reading labels at the grocery store, the time in food prep ( no more fast food!!!), the time to record or log everything that goes through you lips. It really adds up. I'm guessing maybe 10 hours a week. Perhaps my brain never really wrapped around the fact that spending this time on yourself will guarantee that you are around in the future to spend more time with people you love. I went for a walk today instead of swimming. The pool gets chlorine on Fridays so I try to stay away. As I was walking I was reading. I know I looked odd. I love to read. Plus, my scale says I gained weight. Probably because I ate dinner at 11:30 pm when we got home from the theater. I'm hoping that is the reason. I truly did not cheat yesterday. I'm scheduled to feed my daughter's horses today while she is out of town. I wonder how many calories that will use up?
Sincerely,
I'm not Oprah
Sincerely,
I'm not Oprah
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